


Taste Test

by greenkangaroo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, trying to poison a family that eats to fight is pretty dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 09:03:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7884955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenkangaroo/pseuds/greenkangaroo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The easiest way to stop a man's heart is through his stomach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taste Test

"That shit's poisoned." 

Chouji said it so cheerfully, so normally, that for a moment Temari wasn't even sure she'd heard it right. 

The next moment was mostly Shikamaru knocking everyone's eating utensils out of their hands with shadow spikes and the moment after that was Ino nailing the fleeing server with her mind-switch jutsu. 

Then there was a whole lot of yelling and some blood and Gaara being bundled off by the Suna ANBU although everyone in the dining room knew perfectly well he could handle himself thank you very much. 

In all of this chaos Chouji Akimichi waded like a jovial housewife. He arranged the abandoned plates and neatly began to taste as his team mates grilled their captive and Kankuro barked orders to waiting puppeteers and covered the windows with puppets clicking like angry hornets. 

In the end there were twelve poisoned dishes, three poisoned drinks, and one satisfied, if irritated, Puppet Master. 

Later Temari would grill Kankuro for running an exposure mission without her knowledge and she'd grill Gaara for going along with it. She'd grill Shikamaru for not warning her and try and fail to grill Ino for anything because that girl gave as good as she got and the Kazekage Tower wouldn't be able to handle that fight. 

The only person Temari didn't grill was Chouji, although she let him think for a while that the medics really were after samples of his stomach lining. 

She did ask him, as his team prepared to leave Suna, "How often does anyone try to poison you?" 

The smile he gave her was just a little too sweet and a little too wide. 

"Oh, you know." He said. "Sometimes." 

Then he ran off into the setting sun with Shikamaru and Ino ahead, and Temari wondered what- if anything- was written about the Akimichi in their archives.

**Author's Note:**

> If your clan's techniques rely on calories and fat storage, and you've got the word 'food' literally written on your tummy, how many ingestible poisons would YOU be immune to?


End file.
